Online dating feels like the only way to date these days, and although I declare to hate it, I still engage with it, as it really does feel like the only way to date- tragic! But with every swipe, with every like, dislike and on the rare occasion- block- is it subconsciously making us more pickier, do we scrutinise more and is it, making us more judgemental?
Online dating seems to go one of two ways- where we either take a gamble and swipe right to the guy you never think in a million years would swipe back (and its a little fist pump moment when its a match). Or we lower our standards, as every swipe brings nothing but annoyance and frustration.
I feel I am awful for nitpicking with people before I have even met them; and there’s the problem in itself- I haven’t met them, therefore I don’t know them or understand them yet. The worst thing is its over stupid things, which if I met this person in a pre online dating heatwave time; it wouldn’t irritate me. I mean is it really the end of the world that someone writes ‘lol’ (probably not), and is it really worth cancelling a date over- I think not (although guilty on both accounts)! And that’s even if we have made it that far to have a conversation!
But it doesn’t start and end there, oh no– it starts with the looks- do we like their pictures, what they are wearing, are they the generic ‘look I’m with a tiger in Thailand’ type, do they have friends?! Then its moving swiftly on to the conversation- is it all about one thing and one thing alone or are they clingy as hell?- where’s the happy medium!? I’ve been on one Tinder date believe it or not, and that was quite a successful long run (until I got criticised for being laid back- hot damn), but it is a rarity, as I just find the whole experience of it weird! Most people have literally asked how you are and then want to meet up or have nudes sent first class, without us having any form of conversation to see if we can actually hold a conversation and have a good baseline of similarities.
But it’s not just us, the offender, who judges, they judge back! I had it happen to me yesterday with this guy going ape over me not replying to a message at approximately 3.25 seconds after they have sent one! They are quick to judge and hurl abuse at you for not replying when half the time I’m either asleep, out or asleep again! And that is the most off putting thing when someone assumes that you are not replying because you are not interested, when half the time its because we’re busy!
But then how can we expect someone to know our work and life schedule when they don’t know us? Dating online is a game with no rules!
Oh dating, its a judgey judge world!