The saying goes that if you look good, you feel good, and for me that is true! Being in something comfortable, something that shows off my best assets, or is just an amazing print can shift my mood instantly.I’ve spent a great deal of time and effort into creating a wardrobe that best reflects me as a person, and is practical to my lifestyle, and of course, most importantly, owning clothes I love. I still sometimes have the ‘I have nothing to wear feeling’ but it’s nowhere near as often as it used to be.
Then there are items that will never see further than my driveway; the oversized bed socks, the baggy dad jumpers and shorts that are X5 times too big that they may fall down any second, but it’s worth it for those slouchy days. But aside from those hidden items, I like to wear things that make me look and feel good about myself, which makes sense really.
But how come, when it comes to relationships, and when your ‘trying to land a man‘, once your relationship status changes, so does your appearance? Have you really been dressing to impress for all that time?
Because you should never dress to impress, you should never dress for the opposite sex- you should dress for you!
Girls will hand out fashion advice to their boyfriends whether or not they need or want it; when half the time, they’re the ones who could do with it themselves. And if the shoe were on the other foot, I would be the first person to flip if some guy I was dating told me what to wear! The same with how to style hair and what shoes to wear. A girl doing that to a guy is normal, but a guy doing that to a girl is controlling?! Double standards have hit a high!
I’ve seen this case happen time and time again, where both boys and girls get so comfortable with their partner, that they seem to give up on the way they look and on the way they act.
You know when you see people’s ‘one year on’ pictures after getting married and they’re both now at Slimming World? Some call that contentment, well I call it laziness. Because in a sense they are correct- you’ve got the girl or guy, who are you trying to impress, you may as well give up on how you look, right? Wrong! Because that is just plain weird! Because yes your shining personality is what’s keeping them around, but if you don’t even like yourself anymore, how are they supposed to? Yes you want to be with a person who you can be yourself around, but isn’t a bit too far when you don’t recognise yourself anymore?
Would single you wear a black jumper pretty much to the floor and leggings?- No, then why is relationship you wearing that? I am forever going to be baffled by relationships and how they have the power to change people. But if a relationship has changed you into a person you don’t recognise or like anymore, then that’s not a healthy relationship, regardless of how much you love them, you need to love yourself more.
The love from another, shouldn’t replace the self love you once possessed.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Nothing needs to change about you, because guess what, they liked you just as you were before! Someone suggesting a clothing piece for you, something you may not have picked for yourself, but they think you would rock the look- that’s flattery and nice. But someone telling you, that you need to change your clothes or you can’t go out in that; that’s control.
A partner should want to help bring out the best in you, in every sense; in supporting each others dreams and goals, in emotional support, your well-being and yes even with your style. If I ever suddenly thought it would be a good idea to go out in leggings and a top (God forbid), and my partner, who would hopefully know me very well, knew that I’d never do that as a single gal; I’d want them to question me as to why I now thought this was now a good idea.
When it comes to relationships, you are you and they are them, and you just so happen to have a strong connection and really like each other. That does not equate to you changing or morphing into one- you are two separate beings, who like being together.
Dress for you, not to land a guy, because how backwards is that!