Why is Single Associated With Failure?

‘Oh your single?’ comes another concerned voice and a rub on the arm, as if I just told people I was about to die tomorrow. What I don’t understand is, why is single associated with failure?

When people talk about their families success, they are never truly successful unless they are in a relationship. A man at work was talking about his daughter, who has an amazing career, travels twice a year to gorgeous places, yet he sighed when he had to admit she was single. So what? But it only seems to happen to woman- still.

A single man living in the city, is what most men dream of! A bachelor pad, not being tied down, but did you ever stop and think that maybe that’s what women want to?! We are quite okay being single! I’m not ever going to get into a relationship where 1) the person takes over my life 2) they talk about boring stuff and 3) if they cannot appreciate that I have my own dreams and we should respect one another’s dreams. My Nan seems to think I am deeply miserable because I’m not with anyone, but the truth is I’m not! In fact, when people are complaining about that they can’t do this because of their partner, I’m relieved that I’m not with someone (or would be with someone) who I’d have to run things past. Okay yeah I would tell them where I’m going before they file a missing persons report, but I would never ask their permission if I can go out with my friends!

A partner should be an addition to your life, not become your life. So why oh why does being single mean you are a failure? To me, being in a job that you love, achieving and chasing your dreams, giving something back to society, and just generally being a good person makes someone successful. Not that they have been with Jason for 3 years, live together and neither of them have seen their friends since being together- how is that successful?

Relationships shouldn’t take over your life, they should be a positive addition. But too often people lose sight of themselves and their dreams, to a point where they start to resent the other person. Because before you know it, your 10 years in and haven’t done anything you set out to do in your 20’s. Those strong independent woman songs aren’t just for helping you getting over heartbreak, they are a reminder that it’s okay to be single. Single shouldn’t be a negative label to stick on people.


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