When did dating get so complicated?

I remember being asked out on my first date when I was 15, we went down the park and sat on the swings. Yes I know I was 15 so I didn’t really have any money to my name, apart from the pocket money off my Nan and the ‘well done you tidied your room’ money off my Mum, but still it was a lot simpler back then. I was with the person I went on a first date with up until aged 16 going on 17, then broke up and quickly got into another so called ‘relationship’ which lasted a month as I found them highly annoying. Our first date was at my church’s youth group- oh how times change! I dated when I was 17 some other people, and again most of the dates were down the park. I then went out, for almost 2 years, with I guess my teenage sweetheart. We didn’t even technically have a first date, we just hung out a lot, spoke all the time and ended up going out with each other. We broke up when I was 19, and because I’d been so used to having a very simple, yet great dating life, it was all a bit of a shock when I had to date date.

Well I went out with someone at uni for about 9 months on and off, and we never really had a first date as such then. But now dating seems to be so complicated. Most people suggest meals, and I hate eating in front of strangers, so that’s a no. Then if your on date number 4 (I can usually eat in front of them then), then there’s the awkward do you go halves, are they paying or am I paying? Going for drinks seems simple enough, but if your a lightweight like me, then you’ll end up being giddy after 3 rum and cokes and a cosmo and are spewing all sorts of crap to them- highly embarrassing!

What do you do?!

I faced a dilemma fairly recently, in relation to paying the bill. I was dating a guy who took me to a place called chick n grill for a £3 burger, which I was not convinced was actually chicken! Yet, even after that god awful ordeal, I gave him another chance (don’t ask me why, I’m not sure myself). We went to the German market and he bought me churros and we went ice skating, so all was forgiven (let me note that this was my idea), and then the mighty fell! He took me to Nandos and didn’t even offer to pay for my £7 Nandos! I wouldn’t have been so annoyed about this, wasn’t it for the fact that on two different occasions I had paid for the drinks and he didn’t even offer to pay for them. At least offer pal! He then tried to kiss me after having garlic bread, and no that’s a big fat no!

Speaking of Nandos…did you know that the most popular dating place is Nandos? Although that’s hardly surprising since…

A) They’re everywhere

B) They are cheap- although not according to the lad I went on a date with- it was £7, not £70!

But are we now lazy when it comes to dating? Because there’s plenty more options so why make a massive effort for someone who you kind of like, because there’s plenty more people to choose from! Do we just play it safe and go to places, like Nando’s or to a local bar, because you can’t go wrong with it? Or is it just too much pressure? And even if you want to do something really personal and nice for someone you have been talking to for ages, are we then afraid of rejection? That they won’t like it?

As an adult playing the dating game, I’ve had two really amazing first dates, which I would highly recommend…

  1. Going to a comedy club not only was this fantastic! It wasn’t overly expensive, there was an option to get food, but it wasn’t awkward because you weren’t glaring into each others eyes, whilst trying to avoid the flame of a candle trying to latch on to your hair. It was really relaxed, entertaining and you get to see what someone’s sense of humour is like. This, to this day, was one of the best dates I’ve had.

2) Going to a Art Gallery/Museum– that sounds cliché, but it was really nice! It was fun, interesting and we went to an independent food place after. I personally feel more relaxed in an independent place as opposed to a chain. Not only is the food and service better, its easier to connect with someone, as you not in a rush to leave and everyone makes you feel really welcome. I was there for 5 hours talking to this guy.

Maybe we should go back to basics, to the simpler dates, without the pressure from other onlookers or the waitress who knows that this is your 10th date in 4 months. I wish things were simpler, who really enjoys getting to know someone in a restaurant whilst trying to look nice eating anyway?

Cover Image Link: http://aplus.com/a/worst-date-ever-whisper-confessions 


4 thoughts on “When did dating get so complicated?

  1. Soph says:

    Great post, and I totally agree with your points. I think a non awkward date option is going for a walk along a beach or scenic tour (not somewhere isolatd obviously), so that you can walk and talk and it’s more natural than a forced dinner. Call me old fashioned, but on the very first date I would expect the guy to pay, or at least offer. Then I could grab the ice cream after or something to show him I’m not just there for the meal. Great points!


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