I’ve never been someone who was overly confident in myself, in fact I used to despise everything about myself. I’m not just talking about the way I looked, which was unfortunate- I was pretty much ugly Betty– but how I acted as well.
I had a short fuse when I was younger, and lets just put that down to inexperience and immaturity, but I wanted to create this ideal of myself- (create, sounds like I’m Frankenstein’s monster). I just wanted to develop into the person I needed to look up to, so that my younger cousins had someone to look up to as a good role model, and that was simply through loving myself.
I started to make changes to my life, I suddenly began to care about my body, what I was putting in it and how I looked after it. This was nothing to do with vanity, but I started to realise that this body of mine needed to be looked after. I had spent so much time in my teenager years being known as the fat friend, and the one who didn’t care about their appearance, and now I love my body. I want to look after it, yeah I will treat myself to doughnuts, but I eat food which is good for body and my skin.
Something I found very beneficial on my journey to self love, was yoga. Yoga allowed me to focus on something bigger than myself, it inspired me in my dreams, in developing myself and calmed me. I feel very peaceful and able to handle anything that life throws at me, I feel strong and determined in myself and have a can do attitude. When I was younger, I was predicted to obtain grades D-E, and that has always stuck in my mind, that I couldn’t amount to much. I find it hurtful that the school system focuses so much on grades, and I don’t think they realise the damage it can cause. When I got told that these were to be my grades, I didn’t want those grades. Instead I read and I read and I read. I expanded my mind, I listened and I learnt beyond the school curriculum and I can now sit here and say very proudly that the girl who was supposed to get D’s in her GCSE’ has got a first class degree.
I want to end with this, whoever you are, whatever stage your at in life; love yourself and believe in yourself. Be the role model you needed when you were younger. Your differences are your positives.